Needlenose

The Billionaire...and the rest!

Unattributed photoshop, tip ‘o the Nose to Cannibal Buddy!

With Halloween coming up on Monday, there’s going to be a lot of grown-ups attending masquerade parties this weekend. Which, unfortunately, has meant a lot of long, last-minute lines in crowded costume stores — including the one in Washington, D.C., where all the Republican presidential candidates went shopping earlier this week.

As you might expect, they all wanted to dress up as Ronald Reagan, but someone had already snatched that up before the GOP contenders got there… and things just got uglier as they all scrambled for other choices.

Michele Bachmann took the easiest route, deciding to go as Bat Boy.

Jon Huntsman settled for being the Invisible Man.  (Some thought Tim Pawlenty did, too, but it turned out he didn’t stay long enough to buy a costume.)

All of his fellow candidates wanted Ron Paul to be the Invisible Man, but he kept asking if he could be Ross Perot.  Amid all the crosstalk, he wound up as Perot’s crazy aunt in the basement.

Sarah Palin, who showed up even though she isn’t running, opted for Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard.

Herman Cain decided to go as Sarah Palin, but people are just beginning to figure that out.

Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich both wanted to be Elmer Gantry, which resulted in a terrible fight where they tore the costume in half.  Perry completed his outfit with a cowboy get-up once worn by George Bush — and when he worried people might recognize it, he dyed a Jimmy Carter wig to put on top of it all.  Newt combined his half with a science-fiction robot costume.

Mitt Romney took the same concept way too far, stitching together pieces from so many different costumes that no one really knows who he’s trying to be.

(Adapted from a post at Firedoglake.  Tip of the ‘Nose to Green Boy for his suggestions!)

The tea-leaf readers infer that Rick Perry’s secret plan regarding the future of the program is to save Social Security by destroying it.  Similar to what the Reactionaries did so successfully with unions – create a multi-tiered benefit system.  The strategy is simple – scare the seniors and the soon-to-retire Baby Boomers by calling Social Security a ‘Ponzi Scheme,’ then buy them off by guaranteeing that their benefits remain sacrosanct in exchange for creating a new tier of lousy benefits for those dumb young workers who don’t bother to vote.  Quite the opposite of what Perry’s forked-tongue campaign manager claims:

“”I think he’s been clear that those who are on Social Security now, it’s not going to be scrapped,” said Perry’s campaign manager, Rob Johnson. “We’ve got to start the conversation for the younger generation so that there is a program for them.”

To decode Reactionary Speak here is the translation:

“We’re gonna buy off the seniors who vote and rely on the fact that young people don’t bother to vote, or even to read the news.   Hey kids!  I got your Social Security program right here [Grabbing crotch for visual effect]!”

Unless we Libs get off our asses and raise some consciousness among ‘the young’, the Rich will be able to chalk up another win in the Class War.