Needlenose

A couple of weeks ago, a trashy movie was released that hypothesized the year 2012 would see all sorts with unspeakable catastrophes unleashed, in keeping with a supposed ancient Mayan prophecy.

Kind of a ridiculous premise.  But then again (via CNN):

A new group wants former Vice President Dick Cheney back in the White House.

The organization – “Draft Dick Cheney 2012″ – launched on Friday, and unveiled their new Web site. Their aim: To convince the former vice president to seek the Republican presidential nomination in the next race for the White House….

“The 2012 race for the Republican nomination for President will be about much more then who will be the party’s standard bearer against Barack Obama, the race is about the heart and soul of the GOP,” said Christopher Barron, one of the organizers of the Draft Cheney movement. “There is only one person in our party with the experience, political courage and unwavering commitment to the values that made our party strong – and that person is Dick Cheney.”

Few people take this seriously, of course.  As I noted back in September, this draft-Dick chatter is just a facade to justify the continuing media presence of his daughter, Liz (lest anyone ask, “Why, exactly, are you relevant?”) as she unsubtly positions herself for a future electoral career.

But as long as they’re going to play this game, it seems reasonable that we should call their bluff.  If Liz Cheney’s going to keep getting invited onto the cable talk shows and the public-speaking circuit based on the excuse that her dad might run for the White House, some noisy folks should start insisting on equal time for the questions Dick Cheney would have to answer if he weren’t too cowardly to show his own face in an open forum.

You know, the implausible amnesia, the sleeping on the job (literally and figuratively), the evidence hidden in safes intended for classified information, etc… anyone want to start compiling the list?

If he wants to haunt our nightmares, there’s no reason we shouldn’t try to haunt his.

(Cross-posted at Firedoglake.)

I tried to explain to you all where the ubiquity of Liz Cheney was headed…

Apparently bored already with the current occupant, Jim VandeHei and Mike Allen of Politico cast a wistful eye this morning at “some surprising names” among Republicans who might try to take back the White House in 2012:

Some major donors and GOP strategists have approached Joe Scarborough, the host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” about a national run, according to party sources.

Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole of Kansas, the Republican nominee in 1996, told POLITICO that he would like to see Army four-star Gen. David Petraeus — the head of the U.S. Central Command, which includes Iraq and Afghanistan — run for president as a latter-day Ike

I can see the slogan now: “Petraeus 2012 — The General Who Won That War We Didn’t Really Win and Everyone’s Stopped Thinking About.”

The other names floated in this “expansive search for more options” are even less inspiring, and it’s no surprise. The Republican party has been so obviously uninterested in solving people’s problems for so long that it can’t create any compelling spokespeople. All the GOP knows is short-term distractions and hissy fits, and it’s hard to build a career on that substantial enough to launch a presidential bid.

As a result, Republicans have only succeeded by finding a telegenic, faux-folksy frontperson to distract the public from the party’s true agenda. Hence the Reaganite mantle was inherited not by an experienced conservative politician, but by George W. Bush, who was a clean slate in terms of substance but came with built-in name recognition and could fake an ordinary-guy persona. From there it’s just a short step to smiling nonentities like Sarah Palin being convinced that they’re the party’s future.

Which, ironically, makes this my favorite part of the Politico puff piece:

Liz Cheney, a State Department official in the Bush administration, said it is “absolutely” possible for a Republican to win the presidency in 2012.

“The independents who were so critical will come back to the Republican Party when they realize, as they’re coming to realize, that we’re the ones that can be trusted both on the economy and on national security,” she said. “So the substance is a lot more important than: Is it this person? Is it that person?”

One such person floated in a column in The Wall Street Journal is none other than her father, former Vice President Dick Cheney. That’s not happening, though it’s sometimes hard to tell with his frequent appearances and sharp political rhetoric.

When asked if it’s even plausible, she replied: “I think no. I mean, I’d love for it to. But no.”

No, I’m not intrigued by the possibility of the Dark Lord summoning himself from his lair to campaign. What’s amusing and coy about this is that the Cheney who might run — in 2016 if not 2012 — is Liz herself.

Seriously. Think Sarah Palin, with a stronger foreign policy background. (Not a plausible foreign policy background, of course — but like I said, for the Republicans, there’s only so much to choose from.) Or a blonde, female Dubya.

Mark my words, it could happen.

(Cross-posted at Firedoglake.)