Needlenose

Reading an article about Wells Fargo Bank reporting record profits amid the financial industry’s meltdown (and resulting bailouts), Matt Yglesias snarked:

Banks are in terrible shape, and as a result of that the government is taking drastic steps to help banks out. And it’s because of those drastic steps that the banks are posting operating profits. . . .

. . .  It would be a bit as if the government decided to save GM by just agreeing to purchase cars as fast as GM can make ‘em.

Apparently, Matt has a more or less direct line to the White House these days, since Reuters (among others) reported soon afterward:

President Barack Obama, saying he was committed to a strong U.S. auto industry, announced on Thursday the government would buy 17,600 new fuel-efficient vehicles from ailing American automakers by June 1.

Obama said the vehicles, part of the U.S. government fleet, would be purchased from General Motors, Chrysler and Ford, all of which had an existing contract with the federal government’s General Services Administration.

Talk about the power of bloggers! I guess those stories about connections between the Center for American Progress and the Obama administration were right on target.

With my geriatric car costing me more each year, I thought I’d check out the SF Auto Show on Black Friday. What the hell, right? Man, what a waste of time! Only the Toyota & Honda hybrids could match even the 35mpg my old import got (in its heyday, anyway). WTF?!? My car is like 12 years old – and most of the gasoline sedans made today get worse mileage?

The most disappointing thing is that there were even fewer alternative fuel teaser vehicles out there than the last time I went, several years ago. In the token ‘green room’ Calcar.org was demonstrating a plug-in conversion kit for the Prius (sorry fubar, too damn expensive for something that voids your warranty!), a conversion kit for a Scion to make it run on vegetable oil and a conversion kit for a Taurus to make it run on CNG.

The manufacturers had a few concept cars in their booths. For example, Mitsubishi had an electric vehicle, the MiEV on display. Mini had a graphic display of an electric Mini Cooper. ‘Concept’ is apparently a code word in the automotive industry that means ‘something we’ll never sell you,’ or more succinctly ‘inconceivable’ that you’ll ever be able to buy it here in the U.S.

VW was displaying a diesel station wagonette that had okay mileage, and if you are fortunate enough to live near a biodiesel station, you could kind of rationalize that purchase.

The North Hall, featuring mostly Japanese imports was buzzing with activity. The South Hall, mostly ‘Big Three’ U.S. manufacturers along with expensive Euro imports was mostly buzzing with flies. You could almost smell the stench of carrion in the mostly silent hall.

The only real fun I had was by the Ford booth. Ford had some dorky fake robot giving their car pitch. I translated for the folks standing near me “Warning! Warning! Unless you give us $75 billion in bailouts we will destroy Washington D.C.!”

What a frigging waste of time. I want my plug-in hybrid!!!! And I want it now!!!

My gut reaction to the thought of bailing out those U.S. car companies who have been pushing massive, dangerous polluting gas guzzlers on us for obscene profits and who have been shamelessley lobbying Congress to oppose CAFE standards over the last decade is – fuck them!

But on reflection, here is the perfect opportunity to get what we want, while they are in distress.  Sure, let’s bail them out, but only if:

The government gets a significant piece of each company (for some period);

The companies are unable to lobby Congress during the bailout period;

A significant chunk of the cash is put into R&D for low emission/no emission vehicles;

The company agrees to produce vehicles with 35+ MPG by 2010, 45 MGP by 2012 and 55 MPG by 2014

Otherwise, fuck ‘em, let ‘em fail.