Needlenose

The 2,000-plus miles of the Appalachian Trail might be considered a brisk stroll in comparison to the long verbal road South Carolina governor Mark Sanford took in today’s press conference, before finally admitting that his mysterious 7-day disappearance from the state was related to an extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina.

He didn’t have much choice.  Once he was surprised by a local reporter at the Atlanta airport (where he’d hoped to evade notice), there was no way to keep the media from dissecting clues about where he’d been, and no plausible cover story he could tell to end the speculation (especially since the real story was already leaking out).

It’s amusing, though, that Sanford implied in the press conference that he was down in Buenos Aires putting an end to the affair.  Seven days seems like an awfully long time to spend breaking up, y’know?

…is a juicy Palin scandal! We need to pool some cash, send a scout out to Bumfuck Alaska, find some poor young buck, and bribe him with a snowmobile to say he and Palin had an extramarital affair! He’d have to announce this himself in the last few weeks of the election cycle, and claim he had ‘pictures’ to prove his claims (but of course keep withholding said evidence).

This would whip Fox into a frenzy – they and the other wrong-wing networks would be drawn to the story like moths to a flame! It would dominate the news cycle. Obama could comfortably denounce the media for hyping the story while enjoying the media frenzy and coasting to a comfortable victory.

I hate to admit it, but I can’ think of much else that might work at this point, other than framing Palin as ‘Slut Mom.’