(Via David Axelrod on Twitter.)

As you might expect, they all wanted to dress up as Ronald Reagan, but someone had already snatched that up before the GOP contenders got there… and things just got uglier as they all scrambled for other choices.

Michele Bachmann took the easiest route, deciding to go as Bat Boy.

Jon Huntsman settled for being the Invisible Man.  (Some thought Tim Pawlenty did, too, but it turned out he didn’t stay long enough to buy a costume.)

All of his fellow candidates wanted Ron Paul to be the Invisible Man, but he kept asking if he could be Ross Perot.  Amid all the crosstalk, he wound up as Perot’s crazy aunt in the basement.

Sarah Palin, who showed up even though she isn’t running, opted for Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard.

Herman Cain decided to go as Sarah Palin, but people are just beginning to figure that out.

Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich both wanted to be Elmer Gantry, which resulted in a terrible fight where they tore the costume in half.  Perry completed his outfit with a cowboy get-up once worn by George Bush — and when he worried people might recognize it, he dyed a Jimmy Carter wig to put on top of it all.  Newt combined his half with a science-fiction robot costume.

Mitt Romney took the same concept way too far, stitching together pieces from so many different costumes that no one really knows who he’s trying to be.

(Adapted from a post at Firedoglake.  Tip of the ‘Nose to Green Boy for his suggestions!)

The recession has hit everybody really hard, that:

• My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
• Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
• CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
• A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
• I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
• If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
• McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
• Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
• My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
• A picture is now only worth 200 words.
• When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
• The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Tip o’ the ‘Nose to Spy Buddy!

An ego you can see from space!

Also a compelling argument for getting off oil.

Man says “Two shots and a splash of water.”

-Tip of the ‘Nose to Democrat Buddy

The historical significance of Prince Charles

Here is what they were dancing to:

“I can’t understand why no one’s here yet… at least Hillary said she couldn’t make it because she had some other meeting, though she wouldn’t tell me what it was about… you’d think at least my political staff would be here…”

(Via the White House.)

2010 was a particularly rough year for progressives, and so a few well-considered principles for dealing with the challenges that lie ahead should prove to be especially useful.  Here’s a start on my list:

1.  I will not throw things at the TV/computer* when a White House official/congressperson/ corporate media talking head tells me there’s nothing more that the government can do to create jobs.  (*Note: This includes not throwing the computer itself, if it is a laptop.)

2.  I will not throw things at the TV/computer when President Obama or a surrogate informs me that the latest Trojan-horse proposal by Republicans to destroy a progressive goal/program is a “useful starting point” for “compromise” on the issue.

3.  I will not throw things at the TV/computer when some talking head argues that the latest piece of blatant judicial invention from the corporatist Supreme Court majority is in fact the logical result of their strict adherence to the Constitution’s intent.

4.  I will not throw things at the TV/computer when a GOP presidential contender is described as“capturing the imagination of the American people” because the utterly batshit insane portion of the conservative base has to be treated like the true heart of America in a way that progressives can never dream of.

5.  I will not throw things at the TV/computer when… wait, this is all sounding awfully repetitive and downbeat, isn’t it?

Maybe instead of making resolutions to restrain myself, I should turn this into a year-long drinking game instead — you know, drink a shot when any of the above things happens.  It would be more fun.

Then again, alcohol poisoning would be a pretty awful way to die.

Happy new year (if you can bear to think about it)!

(Cross-posted at Firedoglake.)