Caption contest, 8/1

(Barack Obama at a grocery store in Florida today, via the Associated Press.)

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6 Responses to “Caption contest, 8/1”

  1. rota Says:

    Barack Obama stoops to a new low by discussing political issues with Florida voters.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    “Mine is bigger, Mrs. McCain”

  3. Klaus Says:

    Could I have four ounces of arugula, please…oh shit, the press! Just act normal.

  4. Name (required) Says:

    Obama: You got any of those doughnuts with sprinkles? No, well how about some straight talk? Oh, wait is this a Hispanic market? That feller McCain says I don’t connect with you so try to look like you’re in love with me. Really don’t mind the photographers. It’s not like I’m a spoiled super star or anything.

    Ok, now when that McCain guy comes in next week, can you make sure the loudspeakers are turned up extra loud?

  5. K. Trout Says:

    ( sung to the tune of Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa)

    Hey, there, people I’m Barack Obama
    They say I look just like Osama
    My camel is fast, my hookah is shiney
    I tell all the infidels they can kiss my heinie

    Here I am at a famous masrah
    I’m prayin sharp n im
    Actin cool
    I got a country here wants help with their paper
    Let ‘em do all the work n maybe later Ill rape her

    Oh God I am the american dream
    I do not think Im too extreme
    An Im a handsome sonofabitch
    Get a political job n be real rich

    (get a good
    Get a good
    Get a good
    Get a good job)

    Fake constitutional democracy
    Came creepin across the nation
    I tell you people it was more than an orgy
    I found that I could outspeak the drone of Georgie

    He made a little speech then,
    Aw, he tried to make me say when
    I have his past in a vice, but I left his grades
    There still in the records although his memory fades

    Oh God I am the american dream
    But now I smell like vaseline
    An Im a miserable sonofabitch
    Am I a senator or comedian .. i dont know which

    (I wonder wonder
    Wonder wonder)

    So I went out n bought me a leisure suit
    I jingle my change, but Im still kinda cute
    Got a job doin Democrat shows
    Basically, friends that’s how it all goes

    Eventually me n a friend
    Sorta drifted along into s&m
    I can take about an hour with Hilary in the shower
    But I’ve discovered it pushes my ratings even lower.

    Oh God I am the american dream
    With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
    An Ill do anything to ahead forge
    I lay awake nights sayin, thank you, George!

    Oh god, oh god, Im so fantastic!
    Thanks to McCain, Im a politcal spastic
    And my name is Barack Obama
    Watch me now, Im not Osama,
    And my name is Barack Obama
    Watch me now, Im not Osama.

  6. tmann Says:

    “Okay, I’m gonna make it in just one throw..”
    “with the .69 cent mango I just sold you?”
    “Yeah, the one in my left hand. Do you think they see it?”
    “no, they don’t see.”
    “I’m gonna hit this reporter right in the forehead, in just one shot.”
    “The reporter who wrote you were uppity and didn’t visit the troops while showing you sinking a 3-pointer from downtown?”
    “Yeah, that guy.”
    He’s not going to know what hit him, is he Obama?”
    “They never do. They never do.”