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July 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
( song to the tune of Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa)
Hey, there, people I’m John McCain
They say I’ve never been insane
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the my voters they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous school
Im dressin sharp n im
Actin cool
I got a country here wants help with their paper
Let ‘em do all the work n maybe later Ill rape her
Oh God I am the american dream
I do not think Im too extreme
An Im a handsome sonofabitch
Get a political job n be real rich
(get a good
Get a good
Get a good
Get a good job)
Fake constitutional democracy
Came creepin across the nation
I tell you people it was more than an orgy
When I fucked this politician by the name of Georgie
He made a little speech then,
Aw, he tried to make me say when
He had my past in a vice, but he left my grades
I guess there still in the records, but my memory fades
Oh God I am the american dream
But now I smell like vaseline
An Im a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a senator or criminal..i dont know which
(I wonder wonder
Wonder wonder)
So I went out n bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but Im still kinda cute
Got a job doin Republican shows
Basically, all my friends that’s how it goes
Eventually me n a friend
Sorta drifted along into s&m
I can take about an hour on with Bush in the shower
But I’ve discovered it pushes my rating lower.
Oh God I am the american dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An Ill do anything to ahead forge
I lay awake nights sayin, thank you, George!
Oh god, oh god, Im so fantastic!
Thanks to Georgie , Im a politcal spastic
And my name is John McCain
Watch me now, Im not insane,
And my name is John McCain
Watch me now, Im not insane.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
He is saying ‘i am demented.’
July 30th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
“..my friends, if there’s one thing I have learned in the Congress… it’s that destroying five aircraft during my flying days was the perfect introduction to a career in Republican politics.”
July 30th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
How do I know this? Kidneys man, kidneys.
July 30th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
“Guns aren’t dangerous, minds are dangerous. You want a weapon? It’s right here, my friends.”
July 31st, 2008 at 6:48 am
“My friends, I am wearing a baseball cap.”
July 31st, 2008 at 4:06 pm
With apologies to Mr. E.Y. Harburg:
I would not be just a nuffin’
My head all full of stuffin’
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain
July 31st, 2008 at 5:13 pm
“I have that ‘vision thing,’ too, and it’s right here.”
July 31st, 2008 at 8:11 pm
McCain’s failed attempt to pick his nose shows marked deterioration of motor skills and coordination.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Damn, my friends, couldn’t find that eye-lash curler this morning and I know that I just look like crap. Hee, hee… Don’t you guys hate it when your wifey steals your eye-lash curlers? Well, bomb, bomb, bomb Eye-ran, ha-ha…
August 1st, 2008 at 7:57 pm
“Since my wristwatch flipped around, I tell time with my finger. It’s one o’clock.”
August 1st, 2008 at 8:38 pm
“… because I love to count. One! Ah-hah-haah. One Maine McCain supporter at my rally.”
August 1st, 2008 at 9:15 pm
“if I only had a brain….”
August 3rd, 2008 at 3:48 am
My secret plan to capture bin Laden is in my brain, and I’m not gonna tell. It’s key to winning this election, do you think I’d just give it away for nothing?
August 6th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Straight shooter McCain, with his habitual finger to the air, tests the wind before selecting the appropriate aroma of illustrious GOP bullshit to spew.