…why are they pushing to ‘whitewash’ the history books? ”remov[ing] references to slavery and mentions of the country’s founders being slave owners…”? ”includ[ing] the exploration of the positive aspects of American slavery, lifting the stature of Jefferson S. Davis to that of Abraham Lincoln”? ”study[ing] the “unintended consequences” of affirmative action.”? What the Fuck?
Back in ’03, there was discussion among the proto-Tea Bagger Libertarians about moving to some state like Montana or Wyoming and make it a Libertarian Utopia by using electoral clout to remake the state in Ayn Rand’s image. Well here we are in 2011, and it looks like Libertopia may have already arrived – firemen in Tennessee refusing to save a burning house unless they get paid. They don’t want to stop at taking us back to the 1890s, they want to go back to ancient Rome!
The first Roman fire brigade of which we have any substantial history was created by Marcus Licinius Crassus. Marcus Licinius Crassus was born into a wealthy Roman family around the year 115 BC, and acquired an enormous fortune through (in the words of Plutarch) “fire and rapine.” One of his most lucrative schemes took advantage of the fact that Rome had no fire department. Crassus filled this void by creating his own brigade—500 men strong—which rushed to burning buildings at the first cry of alarm. Upon arriving at the scene, however, the fire fighters did nothing while their employer bargained over the price of their services with the distressed property owner. If Crassus could not negotiate a satisfactory price, his men simply let the structure burn to the ground, after which he offered to purchase it for a fraction of its value.
*Update 12/7/11* Looks like Tennessee isn’t a true Libertopia, but rather just another Crony Capitalist state.
About a week ago some self-proclaimed ‘moderate’ (I suspect he was really a Tea Bagger in disguise) called me an ‘extremist’ and an ‘alarmist’ when I joked that the GOP was on a mission to roll back all significant labor, consumer protection and other legislation of the last 100 years in the rush to turn us into a 3rd world cleptocracy. I guess he doesn’t actually listen to what his leaders are saying. Check out today’s latest- Newt Gingrich wants to put the children of America to work! Interesting thought, although with roughly 1 out of 5 adults out of work, not sure what he’d have the kids do…sell True Grit? They can’t deliver newspapers anymore, that industry is dying.
I wonder if Gingrich and Senator Mike Lee get their radical agenda from reading Needlenose snark…
Freedom means...
When a Tea Party guys talks about ‘Freedom,’ what they mean is that they want to be free to do this.
"I'm sooo gonna enjoy campaigning for 2012!"
Some early reactions from various parties to the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death:
Sean Hannity, Fox News: “What we want to know here at Fox, is ‘Why did it take Obama three years to catch him?’”
Donald Trump: “”I am really honored to play such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of him”
Tea Party Nation head & Birther Judson Phillips: “How do we know it’s really Osama Bin Laden? We demand that he produce see long form death certificate!”
Apple Spokesperson Lynn Fox: “See? We told you that retaining your locational information was a good thing! Osama sure loved his iPhone!”
Got any more? 
*Update 5/2/11* Checked out Redstaters. In spite of their happiness in the killing of their great BugBear, they can’t help but throw in some spite, first with a slap at us for “the relentless drumbeat of “war crimes” for those who did so much of the long and lonely work to make this possible.” Academic Elephant, the “war crimes” were perpetrated by Shrubya for invading a country in contravention of international law that had absolutely nothing to do with Osama Bin Laden (as well as war crimes shit like not protecting the Iraqi antiquities museum, National Library, letting folks raid uranium out of the Tuwaitha Reactor . Dumbass. His pal streiff can’t help himself, he has to take a swipe at Code Pink, whom, he presumes, will hold a “take back the night march’ some place to mourn his passing.” Asshole. streiff’s big fear now? That Obama will use this as the justification to close down Guantanamo. I guess streiff was too lazy or blinded by ideology to notice that Osama was located through classic intelligence work, not through another 100 waterboardings of Khalid Shaikh Mohammed or Osama Bin Laden’s driver.
*Update 5/2/11, 5:10P* spoke with a reactionary co-worker, who echo’d streiff’s sentiments – he claimed that intelligence gleaned from Gitmo was responsible for locating Bin Laden. I guess for conservatives, old-fashioned intelligence work just isn’t as sexy as waterboarding and ‘enhanced interrogation techniques.’
*Update 5/4/11* Heh Fox had to find something to criticize. Shep Smith floats a trial (leaden) balloon that Obama’s operation was illegal. I thought reactionaries loved violent action and results by enemy means necessary? I guess the Wrong Wing Wurlitzer is throwing shit on the wall looking for something that will stick to nay say Obama’s achievement. There is always a backlash, this will just be hard for them to spin.
Wasn’t so long ago when “Town Hall” meetings around the country were dominated by older, angry white reactionaries, yelling something about gubbernmint messing with their Medicare and stalking around the building carrying poorly written signs and firearms.
How times have changed! Governor Walker’s brazen attempt to kick in the teeth of labor has resulted in angry crowds of liberals at town hall meetings, yelling about reactionary strong-arm tactics and carrying well-written signs.
Good-on ya Wisconsin! Nice to know that not all liberals are spineless jellyfish – apparently that’s just limited to Democratic Leadership and elected officials!
Guess Mike Huckleberry decided to channel Tricky Dick and go with the Southern Strategy for his 2012 Presidential Bid…he’s falsely claiming that Obama ‘grew up in Kenya,’ giving him a different ‘world outlook’ then the rest of us ‘Mericuns. What is he referring to, the lack of Nascar in Africa, or is he merely transforming into Birther Baggins to appeal the uber-wingnuts?
Shame the most respectable guy out of the pack of reactionary 2012 contenders just called dibs on the sewer under the low road! Jeez, Mike, it’s not like you have a snowball’s chance in the Sahara of winning this, you blew a chance at being the conscience of the GOoPers. Now you’re just another sorry racist loser.
Tip of the ‘Nose to Film Critic Buddy
The Re-Baggers are busy jumping in their time machine to take us back to their (imagined) golden time. All they need is a reconditioned DeLorean, a few thousand gigajewels (of unlimited, anonymous corporate funding, courtesy of Chief Justice Roberts) and a Capacity Fox Generator! How far back will they take us? Depends on the number of gigajewels they can get! How far back? Check it out:
1990 – George HW Bush – Discriminate Against the Disabled!
1979 – Jimmy Carter – Eliminate the Department of Education!
1973 – Richard Nixon – Abolish Abortion!
1973 – Richard Nixon – Drive U.S. Wildlife to Extinction!
1971 – Richard Nixon – Return to the Gold Standard!
1970 – Richard Nixon – Unrestricted Polluting!
1965 – Lyndon Johnson – Ban Birth Control!
1938 – Franklin Roosevelt – Restore Child Labor!
1935 – Franklin Roosevelt – Strip Labor of the Right to Organize!
1935 – Franklin Roosevelt - Screw the Aged!
1918 – Woodrow Wilson - Eliminate Public Schools!
1913 – Woodrow Wilson – Abolish the Income Tax!
1868 – Ulysses Grant - Legally Discriminate Against Women, African Americans and well anybody!
One of reactionary Paul Broun’s ‘Bagger fan club asks him about who will shoot President Obama…to laughter and applause. Move over, Jared Lee Loughner, somebody is bound to take your place as the next Wingnut Assassin.
Tip of the ‘Nose to Film Critic Buddy
Well the Tea Baggers aren’t completely useless and their rhetoric not completely empty – and the Dems aren’t completely spineless! Who knew? Passive aggressive bi-partisanship has accomplished what Obama and his previously overwhelming control of Congress was unable to do – kill Shrubya’s Spying on America Patriot Act!!